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How easily I could end the farce -- with these hands. These DIRTY hands -- AND WITH THESE HANDS I HOLD THE FATE OF MILLIONS ------ AGH !! --MY BRAIN! MY HOT STINGING BRAIN!

Oh Heck

Heck Heck Heck I cant type good or speak without cursing, don't take it too serious, im just gabbin. Scroll down for rambles

Pokémon GO!

summer 2016

I always forget where the "t" goes on that dang logo

F.A.T. City Workshop

vhs about the learning disabled

You like old PBS psychology tapes? How ‘bout social experiments? You had a hard time in school too? You want to see a bunch of adults in a fake classroom get yelled at like they have learning disabilities? Consolers, Parents, Principals, exc, see them do a bunch of stressful work and get berated by the teacher? Man, the best tape popped out of the thrift bin yesterday-
How Difficult Can This Be? - The F.A.T City Workshop
Amazing, incredible work. It really shines a light on how kids end up getting treated in school by adults who think they know better. The end reads “Learning Disabilities: The real challenge is educating those who don’t have one!”. Amazing work, I have never seen things like this explained so clearly, this man looks stressed. Darker circles I have yet to see on such a nice seeming person. Richard D Lavoie has all my respect.
I’m sure if you watch this something will hit close to home. I mean eye contact is a big thing for allot of people, and he makes a good point with that being misused when scolding kids. Dysnomia is something I struggle with but until now lacked words for (haha) … really though I lose my words and can’t find em. Talking takes about all my focus and I think it is part of the reason it is hard. I feel very slow in conversation, sometimes downright retarded, I understand what is going on but I get stuck, I feel sorry for the person trying to talk to me, oof. Can’t type and talk, can’t safely hold a good conversation driving, heck if it is a bad day it feels like I will forget the words for every detail about myself/things around me. Words come out strange and unorganized, they are really slippery and like to hide, I cling onto vague language and metaphors because that is easier to grab. Idk I’m not trying to get weird or dumpy, I just think this is a great watch if you had to suffer the public school system as a kid. It wasn’t your fault it was hard sometimes.
Ugugh
Look!
Its on YouTube! You got no excuse! Its like only an hour! Its funny! Go now!

some spooky horrible mangaka/manga recommendations for you !

mild, spicy, and ow fuck

I'm being bored and unproductive so I guess I'm gonna write about my shameful passion. At a point in my life i was cripplingly addicted to Ero-Guro. Idk man I'm a happy mf I just like gore. No pals I'm not going to talk about Junji Ito (((other than right now where I will go on to rant about Junji Ito, im a liar flapjack (-‿-"))), I love that sweet man but dammit he isn't the whole genre. He is a good start but the well is deep. It has become a frustrating problem recently the lack of digging people do with these things, there is too much out there to get stuck on one guy. Junji's popularity spike feels like another one of God's jokes, he deserves the world don't get me wrong, I'm always happy more people are reading, just imo the branding they are doing with his work in the US at least is very ick. Though my hoarder otaku nature likes collectables I hate to see this happen. BUT here are three gems you will either like or hate me for showing you. Uh I'll try to add disclaimers, pulling from memory is faulty but if i dont remember how bad was it, really. Gonna start with the most readable and I'll try to stop before wandering into just talking about feel-bad hentai. Be Very Afraid of Kanako Inuki! (2022)

Kanako Inuki


Spice Level: Tasty Mild

warnings: really I can't remember anything too bad in it, ig there is a pedo type fella but it dosn't get dirty just strange. The gore is nice but not terribly graphic.


I picked this up last April as a birthday gift to myself (along with some GoodNight PunPun but thats a rant for another time) this is a treat! Kanako Inuki gets called the Queen of Horror Manga for a reason. There are not many female mangaka doing good horror like this, and it comes off as so fluffy and bizzare. By far the easiest read on this list, it is a collection of short stories mostly centered around youth and ideas of existential dread. I think there is an anime for it but i have yet to get my hands on it so i wont speak on that. Her art is so wonderful, I am such a sucker for bug eyed creeps and ghhh screen tone textures gaah. read it.


Hell Baby (1995)

Hideshi Hino

Spice Level: MMM KINDA SPICY

warnings: this one is also tame plot wise, just silly, the gore might bother people more with this one though but you can handle a little spice, it looks real nice.


Another big big name that loves bug eyed creeps. I see a theme now, maybe an explination for why I like drawing pingpong balls for eyes. Now we are getting into some real Ero-Guro, not too bad, this is like baby's first Ero-Guro, more Guro than Ero. Im babbling. The atmosphere and hard ink, so so nice. Yes this one has a good deal more gore and it is nothin but yummy eye candy. Also Hidesh Hino has a talent for fun wacky plots, boarderline stupid, I love it. It is easy to fall down a rabbit hole of his work. if you like stupid spooky gore read it!

Shōujo Tsubaki (1984)

Suehiro Maruo

Spice Level: I'm Double Fisting Gallons of Whole Milk, Help

warnings: everything, gore obviously but uh rape, pedo shit, puppy killing also. bad bad. It will just ruin your day.

You know how I said I would try to stop before getting close to feel-bad hentai, I guess I lied again, but how can you talk about horror manga especially Ero-Guro without talking about Suehiro Maruo's work. He is very very talented but also sick to the point of concern at times. I don't even know what to say about it man. He is the Ero-Guro King. Reading his work feels kinda like browsing rekt on 4chan, it makes me feel like shit. HOWEVER I will defend this media's right to exsist, it is art, there is allot of passion put into it. His style shaped a genre of realistic dark satire. It has stuff to say about the evil in people. It takes allot to box up a part of yourself to give to others even when it is ugly. Oh man this is ugly. I think his work is best taken as saterical and cautionary. Often it is refrencing old 1920s Japan, delusional isolation, abuse of power, people's selfish nature to destroy nice things, the breaking point you get to when made to suffer endlessly, devils walking the earth in human clothes. Dumbfucks on tumblr who want to fuck bandaid man don't get it, there is a point to the ugly that seperates this from just being a shlock shock hentai.


Now talking about Shōjo Tsubaki, it also gets called Mr. Arashi's Amazing Freak Show, it is so damn sad. So damn sad. Any jokes seem to just be there to twist the knife around. Good things do not happen even if Midori begins to suffer less. Cruelty seems to be the main theme like in allot of his stuff. There is an anime adaption that i can't belive got made, Midori: The Girl in the Freak Show by Hiroshi Harada, should still be easy to find on the web, the production was hell i heard. They did a good job for what it is. There is a recent live action one but i havn't seen it yet, unsure if i will, i don't feel good about it. Wrong hands maybe. The only love you will find in Maruo's work is in the dedicated hands making it. idk if you should read it, I'm not tellin you to with this one I just need to mention it because it is a classic and so strange.

Cleanin Cleanin, This Code is Messy

;; ;; ;;

I gotta work from weird PCs still so idk if this is gonna be broke for a bit if i get interrupted fixin it. I started this in uh in August and now it is starting to look like the chair in the corner i throw all my shit on. I get distracted, I had to stop typing this because I just saw a skunk outside, gotta take time to appreciate the little stinkers. Ushually I get distracted with games on my shift but I didn't borrow my bro's steam deck tonight so its 9 hours of Lucky Star and bug squashin. Cool Cool hope i can do it without the maintance guy sneaking up on me watching anime at work wwwwwwwwwwww btw that new pet is thanks to MelonKing, check out melonking.net !

EDIT: that link might be acting lame, idk it might be a neocities issue and no it is not my voice!! I'm too shy!


Worried I'm Slipping

Just a bit

Fun Fact: I've been doing this all from my phone and computer at work, for the past like half a year.
Fun Fact: My phone has been broke for ehh a month now and I'm having some kindof mental block keeping me from fixing it. It feels like Pandora's box.
Fun Fact: I'm broke beyond reason but the Sam Hyde mentality of debtmaxxing is working well for me. I recommend it for you.
Fun Fact: I forget other people read this sometimes so this is mostly me talking to myself guys. Yeah I have a dairy too ig but this is more fun.
Fun Fact: Shit is getting so fucking loud recently it has made me unable to focus on projects and thats a bummer because there is so much to do.
Fun Fact: I am smoking too many cigars and now have chest pain, thats stressful to think about so I smoke more. What a puzzle. Im real smart.
Fun Fact: I wish it was easier to talk to people and not sound like a moron or a lunatic.
Fun Fact: I have a problem with interactions, so best just avoid them completely.

There Will Be Blood (2007)

Paul Thomas Anderson

I'm not gonna even say anything about the plot man, just watch it if you are a dummy like me and havn't yet. Why has it taken me this long to get on the PTA train. THESE ARE SO TASTY. I'm watching The Master and Punch Drunk Love next. This is one of my favorite westerns now and there isn't even a cowboy in sight. I never thought I would root so hard for an oil man to do good. I made the mistake of trying to make a drinking game out of every time something horrific happened. Don't do that. I was a silly fool. Then I was a crying fool full of jager. Then I was so happy. God the end! GHH the performance he pulls out of people is just insane! The cinematography makes me nut! and OH boy the fucking way its presented, what a gift, fuck.

SNOW DAY

WEEE SNOW DAYss

fUCK!! yES!! cAN'T SHUT MY POWER OFF YET! Stuff always happens when it needs to! I am happy all the time, everything will be great, I am great and happy all of the time so things are great because of that. What a wonderful place to land in! What a lucky person to be! This is very fun! What will happen next

We are on the cusp of great change

Diet of Worms

The systems are bad and they are designed by people who are bad to help people who don't deserve it while ignoring the people who do deserve it. We all know this. With new communication we have new oppertunity to reform. We have been gifed an incredible way to share ideas. We have become aware of eachother's unhappiness. If enough people can avoid the distracting muck and squeese through the censors we will make something better. Stupid loud voices will always appeal to the ape brain masses but it leaves the soul rotten, they have a short and regrettable shelf life. Hate, Gossip, Horny, Ego, Pointless Consumeables. They'll hinge open your jaw and shovel this shit in until you are too sick to think. To refrain from this diet is to be out of the loop, under a rock, tucked away in some shameful lonely place. Let them throw stones from their ship, standing on land you can see its clearly sinking. These husk people are only standing out more. In this new interactive looking glass we are all drawn to telling the diffrence between real and fabricated humanity is imortant. We are all too tired and unhappy to keep this up alone. No change will happen if we are all stuck licking our wounds instead of ripping the heart out of the thing that hurt us. No more good will be made if all we do is consume. Its not cringe to have dreams of doing something. No matter what it is we all need to contribute something other than ourself to this world. I can't tell you what to make, what to do, you should know, but jesus you need to get going! Everyone needs you! It dosn't matter what just make it human, you have to be alive for something.

Feeling Like Dirt

that makes me mud

If i could just sink to the bottom and not be bothersome, but a support. I am happy to be here, im grateful. Ive gotten more than I could imagine to ask for, the world can never owe me anything.
A prayer comes to mind. I read Cat's Cradle a few months ago, I cant remember if I have before. Back in highschool or something. I like this part. Pages don't normally make me cry but see;
God made mud.
God got lonesome.
So God said to some of the mud, "Sit up!"
"See all I've made," said God, "the hills, the sea, the sky, the stars."
And I was some of the mud that got to sit up and look around.
Lucky me, lucky mud.
I, mud, sat up and saw what a nice job God had done.
Nice going, God.
Nobody but you could have done it, God!
I certainly couldn't have.
I feel very unimportant compared to You.
The only way I can feel the least bit important is to think of all the mud that didn't even get to sit up and look around.
I got so much, and most mud got so little.
Thank you for the honor!
Now mud lies down again and goes to sleep.
What memories for mud to have!
What interesting other kinds of sitting-up mud I met!
I loved everything I saw!
Good night.
I will go to heaven now.
I can hardly wait...
To find out for certain what my wampeter was...
And who was in my karass...
And all the good things our karass did for you.
Amen."
-Kurt Vonnegut

Hell Yeah

New Stuff New Bugs

I Figured out how to parent images! kinda! ---in other news an epilepsy warning is in the works. Things will probaly squish squash, I dont really know, Ill figure it out though, im on it guys.

Something

Annoyance of Piercing Thoughts

Being in others thoughts is often uncomfortable and itchy. I would like to stay far away from the suggestions of others, strangers even, chattering around in useless places. It is an annoying distraction. Sounds silly considering how badly I want to share ideas. The more specific it is the stronger it is, showing my art is comfortable and showing my face isn't. I just want to be a way to get work done, If i do it right nothing but the work should be left. All the buzzing is a distraction, I need to pay attention to the better sounds and await instructions. I just dont want to introduce shmucks influence to my personal thoughts. Don't get me wrong it does have upsides, but i think others are more inclined to them than I am. I like the isolation, I like the space to think. This page is a contradiction but i'm still working things out. The quest for joy.

9.16.2024

Comic Mini Reveiw

My Friend Dahmer (2012)

John "Derf" Backderf
***
Derf was highschool friends with Jeffrey Dahmer back in the 70s, the book is about Jeffery's life in the small town of Bath Ohio. It starts in junior high and ends at the first killing.
This is unique. It is a short comic, but it is like a time capsule. Derf's underground style is something you don't see much of anymore. Seems a bit like fame piggybacking but he has some talent to make up for it. After this context going back and rewatching NBC interviews was interesting. A fun read.

9.9.2024

01111001 01100001 01111001

After being up for about a month this site is looking a little less broke B) still allot to work on though. Soon I hope to add an art section. I want to add more interactive things to the page, if im feeling real big brain maybe try to make some games. Idk, I'm just having fun and hopefully I'll keep fiddling with this. I like having a place to collect things that is out of the social cesspool.

8.2024

Movie Mini Reveiw

    Harakiri (1962)

    Masaki Kobayashi
    ***
    A ronin requesting seppuku at a feudal lord's palace is told of the suicide of another ronin who previously visited, he reveals how their pasts are intertwined - and in doing so challenges the clan's integrity.
    Very good period drama, the cinematography is clean and the action scenes are a treat. Even though allot of the drama is carried by diolouge it dosn't drag. The sets and costume design are also well done.

8.2024

LEARNING BLENDER :)

First time, pretty fun. I have been putting it off for too long.. Did not save the texture right so im redoing it rn, took some stills before it crashed. Darn my bug brain. Bigger images on NewGrounds B)

8.19.2024


Welcome to my smelly crypt, I'm freshly undead so forgive the bugs. I gotta go get some milk but I'll be back with some goodies so wait here.


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